Review: Popeyes Magnolia Blossom Chicken (New/Limited Time Only)

If we were important people, and we were in charge of new menu items for a major restaurant chain, how would we come up with our next new thing?

Maybe smoke a little weed. Get a little high. And then, what would pop into our minds?

“Flowers, man! Look at all the pretty flowers! Let’s make chicken that looks like flowers, man!”

Well, that is NOT what we would do. But evidently, that’s exactly what the powers that be at Popeyes did.

You see, Popeyes sells Louisiana chicken. So, it is must be a given that Popeyes would sell chicken in the shape of Louisiana’s state flower, the Magnolia. Makes sense, right? If not, pass that doobie, man!

Either way, it is true. Popeyes has introduced the new and limited time only Magnolia Blossom Chicken.

Above, you can read the description (if you aren’t too high to read it!).  A big part of this promo is the NEW SPICY ORANGE DIPPING Sauce. Apparently, Popeyes needs to shout just those words, and the first letter of “Sauce!” In addition, according to the press release, the chicken is marinated with a blend of “sweet orange flavors.” Swell.

Once again doing our duty to you, we set out for Popeyes.

The dinner version comes with the chicken, sauce, a biscuit, and a side. The promo material shows the fries, so that’s what we got.

Now, take a good look at that picture above. What do you see? Chicken? Yep. Fries? Yep. Biscuit? Yep. But what do you not see? Take another look…wait for it…

There is NO SAUCE!!!!

We got the damn meal home, opened the box, and discovered that they didn’t give us the orange sauce!!!

Fast food employees strike again! But you want 15 bucks an hour, idiots??

You had ONE job! Package all of the items that are supposed to come in the box! And so we’re clear, we didn’t have a massive order. All we ordered was THIS DINNER! And they FORGOT THE SAUCE!!  AHHHHHHHHH! We can’t take anymore!!!!

Yes, yes, we know. You should always check for fast food order before you leave. Maybe so. But really? This is a new item that features the sauce! We didn’t think that they would forget it! It never even crossed our minds. And it shouldn’t have to.

Speaking of that weed from earlier…maybe Popeyes passed the doobies down to the idiots at the counter and that’s why they forgot our sauce! They are all high!

Beyond pissed, we tried the chicken anyway. We don’t think we got the full picture here, people. Unbelievable.

Well, there you have it. Yep, looks just like the Louisiana state flower to us! Just Google it. You’ll see what we mean!

So, it is basically a chicken breast cut into “flower petals.” Precious. We want to know how, exactly, you cut a chicken breast like this. This is getting very strange.

Yep, white meat chicken! Must be a chicken boob!

In this shot, you can see just a little bit of orange stuff on the edge of the chicken. We guess this is supposed to be the orange marinade the press release talks about. There sure isn’t much there.

The point of this thing is the chicken and the new sauce. Since the idiots didn’t give us the sauce, we can’t review it! So on to the chicken, shall we??

The chicken seems to be a boneless, skinless chicken breast. It is supposedly marinated, breaded, and fried. It is basically like a multiple-part chicken strip. It tastes like Popeyes regular, plain chicken. The non-spicy one. Only worse.

Popeyes regular chicken is pretty bland. There is little to no seasoning evident. With regular chicken, you at least have the skin adding flavor. With this, it is just breaded chicken. Oh my! It is bland. Very, very, very bland. If there is seasoning, it is flavorless.

As far as the orange marinade goes, it might as well not be there. There is absolutely no orange flavor. At all. Nothing. Zip. Blah.

It seems to us that to give this chicken any life, you need to add the dipping sauce. But again, we couldn’t do that. Because they left it out. WTF?

The biscuit is decent. Although, they do have too much fake butter on them. That is always the case, though. KFC’s biscuits are way better.

The fries have a good flavor. They are “Cajun” fries, so they are seasoned well. But, they are NEVER crispy. Failing.

Enough with the sides. The point is the chicken and the sauce. The chicken underwhelms. It is flavorless. The sauce might have helped, but we will never know.

The dinner version includes everything you see here (plus the sauce, hopefully) for $3.99. It is more if you want the combo with the drink. It is a decent amount of food (including the chicken) for 4 bucks. It is a good value.

But is it worth getting? If you like chicken strips, probably. But again, we suspect you really need the sauce to get the full effect here. We won’t bother with this again. Forgot the sauce? Strike one! You’re done.

Maybe if they threw in a “funny” brownie for dessert, we would consider it.

“Flowers, man!”