There are a handful of foods that define a Fewd Snob, and hot dogs are one of them. Now, you may think that this entire article is going to be based around hot dog jokes. But no! Since these are premium dogs, we are going to step it up and actually try to be mature for once.
Do you believe that? No? Neither do we!
But seriously, people. Hot dogs are perfect for Fewd Snobs. There is nothing not to love about them. We love them grilled, broiled, or just nuked in the microwave. They make great drunk fewd, too.
Oscar Mayer has a new line of dogs out. There isn’t really an identifiable name to this line, though. But there are several flavors available. We’re too lazy to look them all up right now (takes away from beer time!). And amazingly, the line is NOT on Oscar Mayer’s website!
One of the new flavors is the Premium Spicy Monterey Jack Beef Franks.
Before we continue, it is time for an educational break. In all the years of us eating hot dogs, we never knew why some are called “franks” and some are “wieners.” And yes, we are really trying to not laugh here! According to everythinghotdog.com, franks consist of one type of meat, and are usually more heavily seasoned. Wieners are usually multiple kinds of meat, and are blander. Ain’t that something? Fascinating!
These franks are made with 100% Angus beef. Swell. We don’t give a damn about Angus beef, but at least we know why they are called franks now.
Anyway…
Out of the new flavors in this variety, this one intrigued us the most. There are lots of cheddar dogs out there, and many are paired with jalapeno. But we haven’t seen any using Monterey Jack cheese. These dogs are unique, and that’s why we picked this flavor for the review.
These are called “spicy,” but the spiciness isn’t from the Monterey Jack cheese. This isn’t Pepper Jack, people. The spicy flavor comes from the seasonings. Check out the list of ingredients…
There are lots of spices that go into making these little bastards kick.
The instructions show how to cook these on the stove, microwave, or grill. We can’t believe anybody would bother cooking these on a stove. The juices will boil out into the water. Our preferred method of cooking dogs is either on the grill, or broiling them. Broiled gives the grilled effect, but doesn’t require us to stand outside and sweat to death in 95 degree heat. We don’t want our beer getting warm! But, microwaving is a method we use all the time too. We’re lazy, and drunk. We don’t have time to screw around. 20 seconds in the microwave and done!
For the purpose of this review, we microwaved them and grilled them. Because we are thorough journalists! Um…yeah.
Oh look, raw dogs!
And here we have a couple of dogs microwaved. We did them according to the directions. We got a little bit of the cheese oozing out, but that’s ok. We expected that.
The cheese is spread all through the dog in what seems like little pockets. We have no idea what kind of hocus pocus it takes to put cheese in dogs like this. There is plenty of cheese, and it oozes out when you bite into it. It is really difficult for us to not make constant jokes in this review!
Herman cooked up a couple on the grill. Tell us that those dogs smoking don’t look good! Try it! You KNOW you want one!
Herman grilled them until there were some marks. We will warn you; don’t over-grill these. If you get too much char and grill marks, you will lose all of your cheese. Even by the point you see these, one of the dogs had burst and sprayed cheese sauce all over (OK, we’re laughing now!).
The shot above gives a clear idea of the juiciness of the dog and the cheese oozing out all over. Good stuff.
There really wasn’t much difference between the microwaved dogs or the grilled ones. Obviously, there is char flavor with the grilled dogs. But that’s the only difference. Both were juicy and cheesy.
These dogs have a really nice snap to them. These suckers actually have a casing on them (unlike many dogs). The snap adds to the overall effect of a quality dog. And it is there microwaved or grilled.
The dogs have a good beef flavor. It isn’t too strong, but it certainly isn’t mild either. These are definitely beef dogs. The beef is well-seasoned. As you saw in the ingredients list, there are a lot of different seasonings here. And that is reflected in the flavor. There is a spicy heat that builds. It isn’t so much spice that it burns, but there is enough to give the dogs some kick. Again, it won’t blow your face off. But that said, you probably need to like spicy foods to enjoy these. If you aren’t a fan of heat, these may be a little too strong for you.
The cheese is a great addition to the dogs. There is plenty of it. The cheese spills out quite a bit when you bite into the dog (so be careful not to burn your mouth off!). The cheese isn’t spicy at all. But, it does have a good Monterey Jack cheese flavor. It’s a pleasant change from the cheddar cheese dogs that everybody else has. Also, the cheese has kind of a cooling effect on the spiciness of the dogs.
Overall, the blend of flavors is excellent. The beef is great quality, the seasoning is bold and spicy, and the cheese tops it all off perfectly. These are damn good dogs, people. We are fans.
Now, on to the one and only negative. The price. A package of these bad boys will run you between $5-5.50. For six dogs. In the realm of premium flavored dogs, they are on par with other brands. These dogs are a higher quality than regular dogs. And that is going to cost more. We get it. Maybe these won’t become your everyday dog. But for a treat, they are well worth the money.
These are excellent dogs, people. Get some, and kick your summer off right. And don’t forget your beer!
These are REALLY good, especially at a buck a package at 99 Cents Only.