Take a look at the picture above. What do you see?
Let us help you with that. You are looking at ten Chicken McNuggets from McDonald’s. These little bastards have been around since 1983. In that time, they have mostly been unchanged.
Until now.
It seems that McDonald’s has gotten the bright idea to change the ingredients in Chicken McNuggets.
According to Eater (which cites yet another source…we’re not citing them all because we aren’t journalists, people!), McDonald’s is making the change in order to have ingredients that are “more recognizable.” It sounds like the real point is to eliminate artificial preservatives.
So get this. Some of the new more “recognizable” ingredients include lemon juice solids and corn starch.
What the FUCK is a lemon juice solid?!
Sure, we can put together what it is. But that’s not the point. McDonald’s thinks this is more recognizable? We have never heard of lemon juice solids! And frankly, that doesn’t sound much more appetizing than the artificial shit that is in there now! Solids sounds like something they filter out of sewage at the water treatment plant!
According to the article, it has been confirmed that the new McNuggets have a shorter shelf life. That in and of itself is scary. We all know that McNuggets sit too long as it is. Now, they will STILL sit too long. And they will poison us faster! A side of food poisoning with your artificial preservative-free McNuggets coming right up!
As if all this isn’t bad enough, let’s look at the real reason for this change, shall we?
Millennials have been staying away from fast food because it is “unhealthy.” You already know how we feel about millennials, if you have been paying attention. So, the real reason to introduce “cleaner” food is to try to win millennials and health freaks back to McDonald’s.
OK, shitheads. Let’s face it. These types of crowds do not eat at McDonald’s!! They don’t now. They aren’t going to with “cleaner” ingredients!
This is all such bullshit!
Here’s how it goes…
- Group(s) cry that food is unhealthy and demands change
- Company caves to bad PR from said group
- Company changes recipe
- Said group(s) still don’t eat the new food, therefore accomplishing nothing
- Existing customers no longer eat the food because it tastes like shit now
There you have it!
We are SO sick and tired of life in 2016. Health freaks and millennials are ruining everything for everybody. You don’t like the ingredients in Chicken McNuggets? Don’t eat them!
But the real loser here is McDonald’s. Damn you, McDonald’s. We like you. We really do. We love eating your greasy, unhealthy food. Why? Because it IS GREASY AND UNHEALTHY! Don’t cave to all of these pussy groups! By doing that, all you are doing is chasing away the legions of customers that you do have! These shitheads aren’t going to eat your “cleaner” food! All you are going to do is chase your existing customer base away!
And don’t tell us that the McNuggets will taste exactly the same (as somebody says in the article we cited). Bullshit.
We have come across changes like this before, and almost every time the food is different. It just doesn’t taste the same. We can’t think of examples right now because we are drinking. You know how that goes…
Look, the point remains the same. Making a change to appeal to a group of people that will not eat in your stores anyway is a stupid, stupid move.
Above all, we love Chicken McNuggets. To us, they are an old standby. They are like an old friend. You may not call on them constantly, but when you do, nothing is changed. You pick right up where you left off. Translation – we like to stuff our fucking faces with good old classic Chicken McNuggets from time to time. And we don’t want them changed and have them taste like shit!
And we can’t end this article without mentioning this little nugget (nugget, get it?!). McDonald’s is testing the new recipe in select locations, but is hoping to roll the new recipe nationwide in the United States in time for the 2016 Summer Olympics.
Dafuq?
What in the fucking hell does a new recipe of Chicken McNuggets have to do with the fucking Olympics??! You think a lot of Olympians eat fucking McDonald’s? And fried Chicken McNuggets, no less?! This is just stupid beyond belief.
Reconsider, McDonald’s. You have made a lot of dumb mistakes over the years. But this one might be the absolute dumbest one yet.
I just had the new ones and they really suck. They are soggy and thinner.
Omg I nearly threw up. You could use these things as hockey pucks. These are just nasty. I won’t be going to McDonald’s ever again.
I agree the new chicken McNuggets really suck they are soggy and thinner and they do not taste very good bring back the Old McDonald gets they were the best in the world the work the new ones just suck
THE NEW ONES ARE AMAZING. the old ones were nasty. you never new what the texture of the next bite would be.
that is because they were real chicken. Enjoy your fake chicken!
Now that they are wholesome, they taste more like packing peanuts than they do “chicken nuggets”.
“Chicken mcnuggets” got auto-corrected
When I took my first bite I tasted a extremely familiar taste. It tasted exactly like those cheap chicken nuggets you buy frozen and bake in your oven. It was chewy and had no taste. I could not believe that shit.
The new chicken tenders are stringy and tough. I would go far as to say…this cannot be chicken breast. I’m done with MCD chicken tenders. Yuck!
McDonald’s, just take chicken nuggets of your menu, PLEASE!!! they’re gross, and leaves a nastsy after taste. You should have NEVER changed the original recipe.
I remember when there fries used to be the bomb then people complained about the oil they used and they suck and now the mcnuggets suck as well and getting thinner every time I see them
Them MCnuggest suck dic*K now that they changed the way they were.THATS FUDGE UP
Im actually a millennial born 92 ive always loved unhealthy greasy food and soda over healthy food, idk what happened to the generation i was born in but i cant deal with anyone my age getting off subject anyways fast food needs to stay unhealthy
only a idiot would go to a fast food restaurant to order a salad
greasy fattening and artificials are the best when you have to ask them to make the burger extra greasy like they used to they younger workers all give you a weird look its annoying
Plz McDonalds go back to the old ways
mcdonalds– as you watch your quarterlies go down each year, what will it take to admit that it’s your own damn fault? first, the fries (‘nuf said). then the patties on the big mac shrunk to a rubber coaster status. now we are left with dried up little pig’s ears trying to pass for those juicy, little nuggets of chicken that used to make me spontaneously turn into a drive-thru! well, no more, i say!!
i have finally reached the final stage of grieving, mcd’s: i accept that the mcdonald’s i knew and loved is dead. goodbye.
p.s. feel free to pass this note the on to any who have sacrificed their own product (e.g., if tootsie roll pops get any smaller, they’re going to look like a cross between a tic tac and an m & m), and then wondered why they lost their market share. (man, what kind of idiots have you hired?! )
I just bit into one, (no sauce) and I’m looking at it like WTF! Then I notice they are skinnier and not thick like they used to be… I remember back in the day they did $5 for 20 and I ate them almost every day on a small budget! Now you skim off the top, then you want to make them fake meat… And I’m still paying the same price? Sounds like you fucked up when the PINK SLIME story broke out. It’s much like soylent green! No one cares until you tell us what’s in the meat!! FUCK!! My childhood is only a memory now, and being SHITTED ON TODAY!!!
The pink slime thing was a hoax…
it is now 12/2021 and it’s been months since I had a mcnugget. They have almost no taste now. I am not the only one that noticed. Even the dipping sauce can’t make up for the lack of flavor. Not sure what changes were made, I only know they have a lot less flavor now.