It seems like we are always talking about booze in our reviews. Yet, we hardly ever review booze. Why? Because we are too busy drinking it, of course!
We practically live at the liquor store. Every time we turn around, our damn beer evaporates. What choice do we have? We have to constantly go to the liquor store!
Denny was at the liquor store tonight, and he was wandering around looking for new things to get drunk from. That’s when he stumbled across this…
Before we go any further, let’s get this out of the way. People that say drinks like Smirnoff Ice are for girls and not men can kiss our collective asses. For Fewd Snobs, there is no such thing. Is there alcohol in it? Yes? Then that’s all there is to it. Good enough for us. End of story. As the great philosopher (Denny’s Dad) once said, “Drink what you like.” The bottom line is that alcohol gets you drunk. What the hell is the difference? And besides, look at the craft beers that are designed to appeal to young people today. The bottles talk about “fruity aromas.” How manly!
There is nothing wrong with Smirnoff Ice. Or Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Or any of that stuff. It’s 100 degrees out. You’re slaving over a hot grill cooking steaks. You don’t always want a friggin’ beer. How about a nice refreshing Smirnoff Ice? Denny loves them. Herman has been known to drink a Smirnoff Ice Screwdriver or six from time to time. If you don’t like it, leave.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way…
The new Smirnoff Ice Electric is available in two flavors (Berry and Mandarin). The drink is non-carbonated. It comes in plastic re-sealable bottles. They are sold in a pack of four. Each bottle is a pint of booze at 5% alcohol by volume.
We decided to test the Berry flavor. We think that the Berry flavor will probably be the one most people try first. Yes, we see visions of stuff like this. Especially when we’re drunk.
Gatorade! Powerade! You’re smart! Just like us!
There is no question that Smirnoff has got to be going after people who would buy Gatorade. Look at the stuff! Between the bottle and the drink itself, it is obvious what is going on here. And why not? We can’t believe nobody has come up with this before! Gatorade with a kick! Hell, we used to mix Gatorade with vodka. Remember? Come to think of it, we invented this stuff! Feel free to send us checks, Smirnoff.
This stuff looks so much like Gatorade or Powerade that Smirnoff has a big “Must be 21+ to purchase” at the top of the label! It is also clearly stated that the drink “contains beverage alcohol.” What the hell is beverage alcohol? We don’t know. But, Smirnoff is pretty proud of itself for making it clear that this drink is alcoholic. Check it out here, because we aren’t repeating it.
Smirnoff also says that, “Adult consumer trends, especially among adult millennials, show that they are looking for non-carbonated beverages with a mildly sweet taste.” OK. Whatever. We suspect that anybody that’s ever sucked down a sports drink could be the target audience here. Not just millennials. But OK, then.
Alcoholic Gatorade. Good enough for us to try.
So, we tried it. Imagine that! Are we drunk yet?
Nope. But we can see you getting pretty screwed up on this shit. And pretty quick.
Think about it. You’re out cutting the grass (or watching the lawn people cutting it, in Denny’s case!). It’s hot as hell outside. You’re dehydrated. You come in the house and grab a juiced Gatorade…um…Smirnoff Ice Electric. You could suck down a pint of this in seconds.
Now, this could pose an interesting problem. You’re already dehydrated. You’re re-hydrating with something that is dehydrating you. This can fuck you up, man!
But getting screwed up on booze and eating fewd is what Fewd Snobs is all about. So, no complaints here!
When we opened the bottle, we thought that this stuff smelled like a sweet fruit beverage. What, you expected whiskey?? It reminded us of those Kool-Aid drinks that came in the little bottles that we used to drink when we were kids. And yes, we added vodka even back then. No wonder we are the way we are…
There is a pretty strong berry flavor. Denny thinks this tastes exactly like Mountain Blast Powerade. The flavor is stronger than Gatorade, and more like Powerade. We think Powerade is sweeter and stronger than Gatorade.
That’s it kids. That’s what it tastes like. And speaking of kids, keep them away from this stuff. They WILL drink it. They WILL get drunk. Well, at least that might shut the little bastards up for a while! No, we don’t condone kids drinking! Feel free to leave your complaints in the comments below.
There is really absolutely no hint of alcohol in this drink. If you didn’t know this was booze, you would never suspect it. The extremely slight little bit of kick you think you taste is probably just because your mind knows there is booze, and you are expecting to taste something. It’s not true. Don’t believe your drunk minds, people!
Our only bitch is that the stuff is just a little too sweet. We can’t see drinking too many of these because of that. Although, we discovered a fix for that. We poured it over ice. The ice cut the sweet down just a little. Problem solved, drunks!
A four pack ran us $7.99 at our local discount liquor store. Two bucks a pint for 5% booze is probably a decent value. We are just poor bastards, so our consumption must stay limited (boooooo!). Maybe after Smirnoff starts sending us royalty checks, we can buy more…
We would get it again. And Herman really wants to try the Mandarin flavor. What’s not to love here, people? Try some. Get drunk. Life is good. Thank us.