Rant: McDonald’s, Why Do You Keep Failing with Breakfast?

Hi, Snobs.  Denny here.  I am introducing a new feature on our site.  This feature is called “Rant.”  In our rants, we will be talking about stuff that pisses us off.  Pretty straightforward!  Expect our “Rants” to be a little more “hard hitting” as compared to our reviews and other features.  This is where it gets real, people.  So if a little language scares you off, you might want to leave now!

And now we will move on to the first Fewd Snobs rant.  McDonald’s “All Day Breakfast.”

The Only One wanted an Egg McMuffin last night for an evening meal.  That makes sense, since you can actually do that now.  So, being the great guy that I am, I drive my happy ass to McDonald’s to get her some grub.  I’m a gentleman, you see.

I pull into my local McDonald’s and order an Egg McMuffin and a hash brown.

Dude on the speaker replies back to me and says, “We don’t serve hash browns all day.”

What?

“We don’t serve hash browns all day.  Sorry.”

OK, what the fuck?  McDonald’s is supposed to be serving “ALL DAY BREAKFAST” now.  On the TV commercials, in print, and everywhere it is being advertised (and that is everywhere now), hash browns are shown as part of the All Day Breakfast.  In fact, if you go to McDonald’s website, it currently features the All Day Breakfast on the homepage.  There is a video.  Guess what the image is?  HASH BROWNS!  I couldn’t believe it!  And yet, I go to order some all day hash browns.  What do I get??

“We don’t serve hash browns all day.”

You know, I love McDonald’s.  So does Herman.  We have a soft spot in our fat stomachs for the stuff.  Because it is good cheap slop.  McDonald’s might as well be called “Ol’ Faithful,” because you know exactly what you are gonna get.  Greasy, cheap, slop.  But it is good, dammit.

But for the love of McMuffins, why do they do stupid shit like this?

Now, I am sure some smartass is thinking, “But Denny, the All Day Breakfast menu differs by region.”

Bullshit.

The core offerings differ by region.  But this isn’t McMuffins vs. biscuits here, people.  This is the main side to breakfast.  These are hash browns we are talking about!  You can’t put them in the fryer with the fries?  Oh, I can hear it now…, “Denny, you can’t put the fries and hash browns in the same oil.”

Bullshit.

Don’t tell me that McDonald’s changes the oil between the regular breakfast hours and lunch.  Don’t tell me that.  They don’t.

And further, the ads for McDonald’s show hash browns!  Somebody can do it.  Why can’t my McDonald’s??

If you are going to have the golden arches on your building, then you should be following what the corporate office advertises.  Period.  There are no excuses.

McDonald’s wonders why sales have been in the toilet until bringing out the new All Day Breakfast.  It isn’t for the reasons that everybody thinks.  Everybody wants to blame the health freaks.  McDonald’s is constantly introducing high-end sandwiches to help boost sales.  None of this is the problem, you assholes.

The problem is the inconsistency in the food and the menu between locations.

That’s it!  That’s the secret!  I just solved all your problems, McAssholes!

For years, it seems like one McDonald’s is great.  Meanwhile, another is complete shit.  Why?  Aren’t they supposed to be following the same procedures?  Aren’t they just heating up the same frozen shit that is shipped to every store?  Yes!  So what is the problem?

And how in the hell are you going to advertise product, and then not have it at every location?  And again, I don’t want to hear the bullshit reasons.  I have heard that it depends on if a store is corporate or a franchise.  Again, I call bullshit!  The sign doesn’t say McDonald’s Corporate or McDonald’s Franchise.  It just says McDonald’s.  The ads say McDonald’s.  That should mean when I go to get something at one McDonald’s, it should be the same at the next one!  This isn’t brain surgery, ass hats!

Spangles, a local Wichita chain, has been doing its FULL breakfast menu for years.  And yet, the biggest chain in the history of the galaxy absolutely cannot get it right?

I don’t get it.

All I wanted was an Egg McMuffin and a hash brown for dinner.  Why is that so much to ask?

Rant over!

1 Comment

  1. Marsha

    That is a good one!! Here is a another good one for you, if you haven’t bought cinnamon(rolls) ie Pillsbury you know, in the can, please do and let the rant begin!! They are no longer rolls they are biscuits that have a crappy swirl “stamped” I shit you not, into the top of them! Oh I was beyond pissed when I bought them!! Thanks for listening! 😉

    Reply

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