Miss Terri’s Christmas Cookies! (Updated with Miss Terri’s Thoughts!)

This article was updated on December 22 with Miss Terri’s Christmas Cookies story.  Check it out at the end of the article!

It’s Christmas time once again, Snobs!  For Christmas, we have a very special treat…Miss Terri’s Christmas Cookies!

Miss Terri is Denny’s girlfriend.  She is also known as “The Only One” (if you listen to “The Denny and Herman Show” you already know!).  Miss Terri is an excellent cook, and it is a good thing since Denny can’t even make a sandwich!  In fact, in the new year we will be introducing a new feature called “Terri’s Tips!”

Miss Terri has a tradition of making homemade Christmas cookies and candies.  She makes hundreds each year, and passes them out to friends, colleagues, and has them for the family.

This year, Miss Terri sent FOUR trays of her cookies and candies to us.  FOUR TRAYS!  Needless to say, the Fewd Snobs have been gorging on the cookies for the past week.

Keep in mind that each of these cookies and candies are homemade.  There are no mixes here, people.  And each is decorated, too.  The amount of work Miss Terri goes through to make and decorate these is astounding, people.  They look so good that we even decided to decorate the site with them!  In case you missed it, look at the main picture on the site!

So, as a treat to our readers, we bring you the goodies!

NOTE:  Miss Terri has names for each of the treats below.  The Fewd Snobs don’t know what they all are.  We eat them too fast to worry about the names.  Maybe Miss Terri could fill us in later…

IMG_20151210_155520436_HDRBehold!  Four trays of Christmasy goodness!  Don’t you wish you had them?  Well, you can’t have any!  That’s not very Christmasy, is it?  Well, maybe you can.  More on that later…

Now, for a closer look…

IMG_20151210_155545506We will start with Denny’s favorite…wreaths!  Each flake is covered with gooey goodness, and topped off with Red Hots.

IMG_20151210_155635355Above, we have Herman’s favorites.  For Denny, they are a close second.  We call these “cake cookies with cherries.”  They have a cake-like consistency with a cherry in the middle, wrapped up in chocolate.  What’s not to love?

IMG_20151210_155714722Candy or cookies?  Call ’em what you want.  Again, Miss Terri’s name for these isn’t coming to us because we eat them too fast to pay attention.  Amazing.

IMG_20151210_155612177_HDRHerman describes these as “brownie chocolate cherry marshmallow things!”  They are super rich, and fill ya up.  Diabetes, people!  And you will like it!

IMG_20151210_155734464Reindeer sugar cookies!  Almost too cute to eat.  Yes, we just said cute.  Christmas is getting to us.  Blame Miss Terri!

IMG_20151210_155658286Peanut butter chocolate-covered thingies.  Winning.

IMG_20151210_155553900Chocolate peanut cups.  Take a lesson, Reese’s!

IMG_20151210_155539594_HDRWhite chocolate dipped pretzels.  Salty and sweet.  Just like us!!  HO HO!

IMG_20151210_155559213_HDRGingerbread Christmas trees!  It is getting tough to go through this without eating our screens…

IMG_20151210_155627477_HDRFudge squares.  Are you catching all of these, people?

IMG_20151210_155647805Christmas bells in red and green.  Next to the bells are the candy canes.  You can’t see them here (too much egg nog for Herman when he was taking pictures!).  Take a look next to the bells in the main picture at the top.

IMG_20151210_155606542_HDRLast, but not least, Reindeer Turds!  With respect to Miss Terri, we affectionately call these by that name!  She always jokes that these are the least attractive of the cookies, and they look out of place compared to everything else.  But they are amazingly good!  Once you start eating them, you can’t stop.  And we can NEVER keep the name straight.  We have called them ginger snaps, and some other names.  Pfeffernusse, maybe?  We don’t know.  Miss Terri will set us straight in an update to the feature later!

Thank you, Miss Terri, for giving the Fewd Snobs Christmas treats!  If anyone would like recipes, she might be willing to share them!  Leave a comment below, or shoot us a message.  We will see if Miss Terri will share!

We hope that all of you have a very Merry Christmas!!

IMG_20151210_154734657_HDRUPDATE:  12/22/15:  Miss Terri was telling Denny the story of her Christmas cookies after this article was published.  Denny asked Miss Terri if she would share her story with our readers.  She agreed.  Keep in mind, Miss Terri is NOTHING like the Fewd Snobs!  She keeps order and civility in Denny’s life, and he is grateful for it.  Hell, she does this for Herman, too!  Her story is featured below.

Miss Terri’s Thoughts:  First of all, I am incredibly honored that the Fewd Snobs chose to feature my cookies so prominently on their site. I honestly consider it a joy to provide them with Christmas cookies, because let’s face it, left to their own devices, Fewd Snobbers would eat double stuffed oreos with their beer on Christmas day and call it good! (Not that there’s anything wrong with oreos and beer, especially if you buy one of the many Christmas varieties!) It is just really awesome for me to think of them hunched over their computers, writing these amazing reviews and fewd fights while munching on my cookies (HO HO. Sorry, couldn’t resist throwing in some Fewd Snob lingo, people!) As a girlfriend to one and a friend and admirer of the other, I can tell you these guys are geniuses who have created an amazing site that is gaining an audience in mind-blowing numbers and my advice to any and all is to advertise with them while you can!

But I digress. Back to my cookies (insert your own comments here).

In my file cabinet, I have a dog-eared, stained and well worn folder that contains my life in Christmas cookies. For years, I tore recipes out of magazines, newspapers (remember those?) and any other source that had something that tweaked my Christmas baking imagination. Each year in October, I would sit down with some hot cider, Christmas music playing softly in the background, and sift through a growing pile of recipes and handwritten notes to pick out exactly what I wanted to bake for the upcoming holiday. It was only in the last several years that I settled on the collection that has somehow become my permanent repertoire and I no longer sifted through the archives of my battered and beaten folder. Only the notes and recipes at the front consumed my time and interest.

But after the Fewd Snobs honored me, I pulled the folder out and went through it page by page. I have notes for each Christmas dating back many years (we won’t talk about how many!) On those pages are not only notes on the cookies themselves but also listings for people who were given cookie boxes as well as where cookie platters were taken. Interestingly enough, I was unable to place some people despite their importance at one time…while others hadn’t crossed my mind in years and made me smile for long ago friendships that drifted apart with life’s changes.

Somehow this year, in a variety of ways, I have come to understand how baking cookies over many Christmases has taken on a meaning that I never imagined in those early days of recipe testing. Perhaps the best example that comes to mind occurred the year I was living through a very nasty divorce. October rolled around that year and with my life in upheaval and amidst the stress of a new job, I somehow managed to make a decision that was the best possible thing for me and those around me. I determined that nothing about Christmas was going to change for myself or my children despite my reduced finances, my ever-mounting stress levels or the feeling of being in a snow globe that was constantly being picked up, flipped over and shaken vigorously by life. And so, I started rising at 3:00 A.M. to make Christmas cookies. This went on for weeks. Many told me I was crazy. Bleary-eyed and dizzy with exhaustion, I began to agree. And yet something propelled me forward. Insanity? OCD? Stupidity? Pure English/German/Native American stubbornness? (Okay, maybe not so pure! My heritage reads like that of a mongrel pup from the pound!) Where was I? Oh, yes, the nature of the beast propelling me to make cookies long before the sun even considered rising.   I honestly don’t know what kept me going those long, dark days and yet suddenly, finally, triumphantly, the last cookie was formed, baked, decorated and stored. Yes, somehow the impossible had been made possible and the deed was done. I felt like an athlete at the end of a marathon, exhausted, on the point of collapse, and yet decidedly triumphant and euphoric. And with those emotions, another came over me, stopping me in my tracks. For abruptly, the snow globe righted and my world stopped shaking. For the first time in a very long time, I felt a sense of stability, of comfort in holding to a tradition that had somehow woven its way through my life without my realization. Ever so gradually, I began to understand that the very act of baking and giving cookies had not only created a legacy of memories that became more apparent as time passed but had also given me a sense of stability and rightness and yes, even control in a life that often felt like sand shifting beneath my feet. It was that moment that I knew I would survive not only this divorce, but anything else life threw my way. Too much for cookie baking to accomplish, you say? In a word, no.

WAY too much to write about Christmas cookies and life philosophy, I know, especially on a Fewd Snob’s site that is supposed to be lighthearted and eternally funny. In fact many of you are probably bored out of your skull by now but for those of you who have stuck with me through my sentimentality, thanks for going on the journey with me and please keep reading.

Terri’s Tips (the start of a new feature right here in black and white!):

Allow holidays to be an oasis of time where you refocus and remember how to have fun, regain your sense of what matters in life and enjoy being with those who mean the most. Find at least one tradition that you can establish and keep for yourself and those around you. Doesn’t have to be cookies or anything ‘traditional’ (despite the word ‘tradition’). Look for something that fits and feels right and then don’t let it go even in sickness, sadness, upheaval or loss.   Take a few minutes to let others know they are appreciated or noticed and that they matter. A short note or an email somehow combined with your tradition of choice can be a highlight of the year for both giver and receiver.

And finally, know this; the tradition you create will not only affect others in ways you can never imagine, but it will do something wonderful for you as well, even in shitty years when all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and give up.

I promise.

Postscript:

For those of you who can’t believe this much sentimentality was displayed on fewdsnobs.com, please hang in there with me and don’t avoid my future posts. I promise to tone down the emotion and be more ‘fewdsnobbish’ in the days ahead!

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