Fewd Fight! Turkey White Meat Vs. Dark Meat

The Fewd Snobs’ favorite holiday is almost here.  Yes, Thanksgiving Day will be here soon.

What’s not to love about Thanksgiving?  Food, beer, and football.  Sounds perfect to us!  All of you fellow Snobs surely agree!

Herman and Denny haven’t had a good old fashioned Fewd Fight in a while.  While discussing our favorite holiday, the concept of white meat vs. dark meat came up.  On this, we disagree.  Finally, it is time for a new Fewd Fight!

Really, this applies to chicken, Cornish hens, goose, and pretty much any birds.  In honor of Thanksgiving, you see where this is going…

We should also say that we are laughing at the word “meat” continuously while writing this.  We are not mature, and we never claimed to be!!

First off, a little examination of the meat (HO HO!).  According to an article at chicken.ca, “…myoglobin is the hemoprotein (an oxygen-carrying protein) responsible for giving dark meat its reddish colour. The more myoglobin, the darker the meat and the richer the nutrients.”  Now, technically they are talking about chicken.  Close enough.  What do we look like?  Scientists?  Nope.  Furthermore, we are talking about Thanksgiving turkey, yet we are citing a Canadian article about chicken!  What the hell is going on here?  We don’t know.

In any case, there are evidently scientific differences between white meat and dark meat.  Whatever.  The real point is that they taste completely different.  And we don’t agree.

Herman’s Thoughts:  Well, as you might not know, I am a member of the dark side.  Any Star Wars fans out there?  No?  Oh well… Anyway, I happen to like dark meat over white meat when it comes to turkey and really any other bird.  I just think it has more flavor and is (almost) never dry.  Dark meat is also much more forgiving if it is overcooked.  Which is the other reason I don’t like white meat usually.  A lot of the time the breasts gets overcooked on whole birds.  It’s pretty much inedible at that point.

Finally, dark meat is almost always cheaper than white meat.  What is the deal with stores charging so much more for meat that is paler, blander, and less juicy?  WTF man.  Oh, and the white meat is 99% fat free.  Pfft!  Screw the tits.  Gimme legs and thighs any day.

Denny’s Thoughts:  Where do I start?  First of all, a Star Wars reference, Herman?  Really?

As is obvious by now, I prefer white meat over dark.  The funny thing is, I don’t dislike dark meat.  But, I greatly prefer white meat.  To me, dark meat is greasy.  Really greasy.  It makes your guts slippery.  There is nothing good happening with that.  Now, Herman brings up a point in that dark meat is fattier than white.  This is why it is greasier.  Let me make this VERY clear…I do NOT like white meat better because it is healthier.  I could care less.

I like white meat better because it just tastes better.  The meat is stockier, if that makes sense.  There is a better texture to it.

Now, here is where Herman (and lots of people) say that white meat gets overcooked, and that it is dry and inedible.  To this, I say that if you COOK THE BIRD RIGHT, this doesn’t happen!  You must cook the bird slowly.  Don’t be in a hurry!  If you cook it slow, and baste it often, the white meat stays juicy and excellent!  I’ve been eating roasted turkey for years, and the white meat is ALWAYS juicy and tender!  In fact, see that pic above?  That is MY bird!  That is a bird cooked right!

Finally, to answer Herman, legs and thighs are good, but the boobies are good, too!  HA HA HO HO!
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The white meat vs. dark meat is a debate that goes back to the first roasted birds.  The Fewd Snobs may not agree, but we DO agree that no matter your preference, it all gets eaten in the end!  Let us know what you think in the comments below.

Happy Thanksgiving, Snobs!

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